Making the decision to adopt

2011 was definitely a whirl wind for our little family, to say the least.  After finding out for sure in August 2010 that my husband’s cancer treatment left us in that “infertile” category, we knew that ART namely, IVF was our route.  No charting, planning, trying that “normal” couples do…Just blood testing, ultrasounds, needle pricks that us lucky infertiles get to endure.  So, in January 2011, we had round one of IVF with Dr. Raymond Ke at the Fertility Associates of Memphis.  We had a flawless cycle, with a 3 day transfer of two little embryos.  Unfortunately cycle one was a bust.. I cried, I got angry, and then I picked myself up and started planning to try again.   The battle had only just begun, and I wasn’t giving up yet.  In September/ October 2011 we were ready for round two.  After one or two scary moments, we transferred two 8 cell grade 1, perfect by all medical standards, embryos.  Unfortunately, this too was a bust, but this time we had one little guy make it to freeze.  Two cycles, four lost embryos, and a whole heck of a lot of hormones pumped through my body, blood drawn, being put to sleep twice for retrievals, and a combined six days of bed rest in one year was just too much.  It really took a toll on my body and my heart.  I knew after the second failed IVF that it was still my destiny to be a mom, but maybe it isn’t my destiny to experience pregnancy.  The idea of adoption had crossed my mind many times before, but I never whole heartedly felt ready.  We actually contacted an adoption agency after our first failed IVF, and even researched it some, but I felt in my heart I had to try another IVF.  After the emotional turmoil of number two, I knew that my body wasn’t ready, and may not ever be ready for the emotional stress of another round of fertility treatment.  At this point, I really started thinking more and more about adoption.  I started to realize that maybe God had other plans for us.  Maybe the perfect child for us is being created as I type this.  When FNF’s Amy started sharing her story about sweet baby Liam, I knew that adoption was something that I wanted to do.  Amy and Logan have been such inspiration in our journey.  During my first IVF, I ran across Amy’s blog, and realized that she and Logan were on the exact same schedule as we were, right down to the day of retrieval and transfer.  Going through an experience like IVF and fighting infertility, you need someone who understands you to cling to in your journey, and FNF has been that for me.  They provide so much support, prayer, and so much of their own lives, you feel like you are never alone.  I know that God has the perfect baby for my family, and realizing that once I bring that sweet baby home, it is mine, no matter how he/or she comes into this world, is half the battle won.  So now, I am sharing my story, spreading the word, in hopes that someone out there will hear my plea, and feel like their baby was created for our family. 

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